Unbelievable! The sun is up and my little man is asleep. Albeit in the bouncer, with the vibrate feature going, and he occasionally stirs requiring me to rock the bouncer with my foot for up to ten minutes. But still, it's a small victory and it means I can FINALLY get a start on this blog that I've been so eager to start.
Okay, so I should try and make this first blog post worthy, so here goes. I'm Bini (not my real name, of course, but this is what most people on the internet know me as) and eight weeks and one day ago I gave birth to my amazing and long awaited son Dexy. It wasn't a regular birth, and was far from being the kind of experience that I thought it was going to be. There should be tab that takes you to his birth story near the top of this page. It hasn't exactly been smooth sailing for us. I was back in hospital two weeks after having him due to a staph infection in my c-section incision. Hubby and I have also had a lot of adjusting to do and we're still far from living a "normal" life. Don't get me wrong, I know that things are never going to be like they were. But at the moment things are just totally crazy and not very functional so we're trying to work on this for the benefit of all three of us.
Dexy himself is a pretty high maintenance baby. Although he is healthy, and got through the ordeal of childbirth much better than I did. He very rarely sleeps during the day (Oh, and by the way spoke to soon at the beginning of this post. He is now awake and I'm back to rocking the bouncer with my foot), and at night he causes problems too. Mainly for his Daddy cause at the moment, I have the day shift while he has the night shift. Dex also has reflux which we are treating with a liquid Zantac and at least one feed of thickened formula a day. He's also a purple crier which drives me and hubby insane. He'll just randomly cry and scream even though all his needs have been attended too and he'll keep it up for some time. An extremely hard to settle baby, there are days and nights when the three of us get barely any sleep and we're all left tired, frustrated, and yes... crying. It's been hard. And I really do mean that. Not just a little bit, but extremely hard. I have issues with mental illness and sometimes my limits are totally pushed to the edge. However, I have been told several times to not pin it on my mental health issues, but to accept that most new mothers feel the way that I do. Does that help? Only a little. At least I can say that hubby and I aren't without support. Between eachother, our family's, and government services that have been made available to us we have a fantastic network of help. A huge help for me also has been a group of girls I met online through a pregnancy website. All with bubbies around the same age as Dexy. They're amazing. And it's astonishing how much we care for eachother when we haven't actually met in person.
It's not all bad though. Infact, alot of the time it's brilliant. Especially now that he's learnt to smile. Oh my God, that smile. It's a powerful thing. I can feeling absolutely dreadful, but then he'll smile at me and everything is better. His baby talk has a pretty similar effect. Even through all the trouble we're going through, I can look at him and just be in absolute awe. My hubby and I made this! This gorgeous although loud little boy. And after years and years of wanting to have a baby, he's finally here and he's the most beautiful thing in my life.
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